


13 Ways to Fall in Love

by Ofthecats



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christophe is an enabler, Don't worry there will be more characters, F/M, I'll tag them as they come - Freeform, Inspired by a Buzzfeed Video, M/M, Phichit Chulanot is done with everyone's shit, Sassy Yuuri is something we need more of, Seung-gil is a supportive bf, Victor is bad at love, somewhat canon compliant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 14:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11210139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofthecats/pseuds/Ofthecats
Summary: A night of drinking results in all the permutations of love being compiled into a handy dandy list. And Viktor Nikiforov is desperate enough to try them all.





	13 Ways to Fall in Love

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by the Buzzfeed video of the same [title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjpLvbvavVw/).  
> I really wanted to see how the concept might work in the Yuri on Ice universe.
> 
> Featuring a Viktor Nikiforov that isn't as confident, godlike, or as smooth as you would think and a Yuuri with a little more bite on him.

Viktor Nikiforov was a nice guy. Not a nice guy in the sense that he would pair fedoras with katanas and sexism unironically. He was just lonely, that's all. And what do lonely millennials do beside think about the current state of the economy, the current state of politics, and the current state of their student loans looming over them ominously in the background of their dreary, dreary millennial lives? Tinder.

 

Okay, well maybe not just Tinder.

 

(A lot of Tinder. Bumble. OKcupid. Grindr.)

 

_[The scene changes to Viktor sitting down at a table, the focus is on him. He's clearly on a date.]_

 

“Hi, I'm Viktor and I'm a Capricorn.”

 

_[The scene changes. Cut to him making out with his current date on a nondescript couch in unnoteworthy apartment. The attraction doesn't seem to last long (Although his date and their 32 texts would say otherwise), for the scene changes back to him sitting down at the table again. He's wearing a different outfit, on another date.]_

 

“I majored in Linguistics and Computer Engineering and I work as-”

 

_[Scene change to him walking out of a closet, disheveled with lipstick marks and some questionable bruises. Does this last? Hah, no, the camera pans to him sitting at the date table yet again, looking less optimistic]_

 

 _“_ I have a dog, I ice skate for fun-”

 

 _[Switch to him getting kicked out of an apartment, wearing just enough to not get arrested on charges of indecency. At least he still has his watch. He checks the time. 8:15. His date started at 6:45. Viktor gives his phone a dejected bitch face. Fuck._ _Literally and metaphorically_ _. Pan back to him at the doomed date table for two, his last shreds of hope as thin as the parmesan cheese on his pasta.]_

 

“Hi I’m-”

 

“-not looking for a long term relationship? Cool me too!”

 

_[Viktor tries to interject but is cut off by his date promptly tackling him and kissing him full on the mouth in public. They’ve literally met only 5 minutes ago.]_

 

 

He was a bright kid growing up, entered college at the age of 16, earned his Bachelor’s in Linguistics, double majored in Computer Engineering, and then went on to earn his Master’s in Linguistics.  At 26 years of age, he was doing pretty well. He had a job he liked as a technical writer, a nice apartment in the Silicon Hills, a dog, great friends. Life was all right.

 

So why was he so lonely?

 

Viktor went out for drinks and made friends. He saw concerts. He went to art gallery openings. He tried new cafes whenever he could. He frequented clubs. Maybe, he slurred to himself after a productive night of drinking in a overly hipster bar, he was trying to overcompensate for not dating much during college. And maybe he was right. He dated around, but things never truly escalated with anyone. One ex-girlfriend kind of moved in with him. He and an ex-boyfriend thought about buying a condo in Port Aransas.

 

They never really stayed and that was okay. Viktor didn’t really consider himself a white picket fence, two kids, and and a dog kind of guy (Well, okay,  Makkachin was an exception). However, he’d be lying if he had said he’d never thought about that sort of future.

 

But he was young. Statistically, he had the rest of his life ahead of him.

(Love would come, right?)

 

* * *

 

 **To** : viktor

hey, u free this friday?

 

 **To:** Christopher G.

yeah, what’s up

 

 **To:** viktor

damn, that wasn’t supposed to be the answer.

what happened to veronica??

 

 **To:** Christopher G.

things didn’t work out

what’d u have in mind?

 

 **To:** viktor

well ur supposed to be too busy with her

to meet little old me

but I was thinking we could meet for drinks

with phichit, seung-gil and yuuri

 

 **To:** Christopher G.

sounds good what time?

 

 **To:** viktor

8?

 

 **To:** Christopher G.

cool see you then!

* * *

Event Created!

Drinks w/ Chris and co.

8 p.m. Friday, 3/31

* * *

Kachu’s fit right in with the city. With its eclectic blend of Japanese and local flavor, a curated menu of traditional and experimental bar fare, and reasonable prices, it was the perfect place for a Friday night out. The owner, one Minako Okukawa, took a shine to Viktor after he helped her once with a rather unruly crowd of college students and later, when he asked about one of her awards proudly displayed behind some bottles of tequila.

 

(It was a good and a bad thing to receive occasional discounts on drinks.)

 

(Mostly good, his wallet thanked him and his liver cursed him.)

 

Minako nodded towards Viktor when he entered. From his favorite booth in the corner, Christophe beckoned him to join the group. Viktor paced over and slid in next to Chris.

 

[ _Christophe Giacometti. He’s an easy-going guy with an affinity for bleaching his hair. (He insists it’s natural). Graduated the same year Viktor did. Works as an editor for a well known online publication, likes cats, currently in a long term relationship. Viktor can’t remember exactly how long he’s known Chris, but he’s a good friend despite all of the failed blind dates that he sets up for Viktor.]_

 

“I take it things didn’t work out with Veronica.” drawled Christophe. Viktor shot him a slightly annoyed glance.

 

“I thought we went over this?” replied Viktor. Across the table, he heard a snort.

 

“You went over this with Christophe, not us,” remarked Phichit. He slid Viktor a glass filled with whiskey on the rocks. Viktor accepted it gratefully and took a swig. “We ordered already, but don’t worry, didn’t forget about you.”

 

_[Phichit Chulanont. A fellow co-worker of Viktor, a bit younger than him. They went to the same college. Has an affinity for social media and hamsters, talented programmer. He and Chris got along well after a particularly exciting night at a college party that makes Viktor’s head ache a bit when trying to recall what happened.]_

 

Viktor smiled, then sighed and hung his head over his drink. He was thankful for his friends, truly, they had tried to help him with his love problem.

 

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” he sighed. The rest of the table gave him a mixture of medley of reactions ranging for surprise to amusement to good natured annoyance.  
  
“Y’know, not every date has to involve a hookup.” suggested Phichit.

  
Viktor huffed. “Not every one of my dates ends with a hookup. Besides it’s practice, for like when I find my true love and all that jazz.” To his right, Yuuri quirked an eyebrow.

 

“Practice.” he drawled with a hint of cynicism and amusement.

 

_[Yuuri Katsuki, or Katsuki Yuuri to be more accurate. Also went to the same college. To be quite honest, Viktor wasn’t sure how to feel around him. The two were in different years, but through mutual friends, ended up hanging out. Yuuri was nice, quiet, but had a brilliant wit that could eviscerate a victim in seconds hidden under dark blue glasses, soft brown eyes, a softer voice...]_

 

Chris interjected, “Nah, I get what you mean.” Viktor nodded, gesturing to the rest of the group in a manner that conveyed the phrase “See? He gets it.”

 

“I mean come on, everytime I log into Facebook, someone’s getting engaged, married, having a baby, falling in love and all that jazz,” mused Viktor. He took a sip of his whiskey. He continued.

 

“And that seems nice and all, but it makes you think, it can’t be that hard to fall in love right?”

  
Chris set his drink down, a fruity cocktail. He looked on, pensively. “There’s gotta be at least a million ways to fall in love.” Phichit squinted and give him a sidelong look.  
  
“There’s like 12 max.” said Phichit.

 

“Name them.” Viktor insisted.

 

“Well, you’ve got the grocery store, bookstore, dild-” Chris started but was cut off by Yuuri with an elbow and quickly uttered “Dude.”

 

Phichit gave him another sidelong look. “Those are places, chance encounters.” To Phichit’s left, nodded Seung-gil.

 

_[Seung-gil Lee. Phichit’s boyfriend. Where Phichit is more bold and brash, Seung-gil is more thoughtful and careful.Taciturn, but not cold. Loves his husky and secretly runs a successful instagram for said dog. Not that Viktor followed it or anything.]_

 

Yuuri pointed at Phichit. “Chance encounters. That’s one way.” Yuuri stated.

 

“Anyone got a pen?” asked Viktor. Hands shuffled, pockets were ruffled, and a pen made its way to Viktor. He grabbed a napkin and scrawled:

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance encounters



 

“But if you really think about it,” Seung-gil interrupted. “Isn’t everything a chance encounter?” Phichit poked him lightly, “Not helping.” he hissed.

 

“Well I mean, I just fall in love randomly at a place of commerce?” Viktor mused.

 

“No, you go to these places of commerce where your chances are higher.” Phichit pointed out. Chris nodded.

 

“Yeah like a Laundromat, Bus Stop, Dild-” he continued but was then cut off by another “Dude.” from Yuuri.

 

“He’s right, though what’s your fixation with- never mind, not gonna finish that. Capitalism can actually help you out with love,” remarked Yuuri. He took a bite of his food and swallowed before holding up 2 fingers.

  
“Two,” He said. “Online dating.” Viktor scribbled it down on his list with slight chagrin.

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance encounters
  2. Online dating



 

“Yeah,” Viktor paused awkwardly, taking a slightly larger sip of his drink. “Been there, done that.” If he placed an emphasis on the word done, he didn’t notice, but Yuuri smirked. Viktor flashed back to several scenes of brief hookups.

 

“Y’know, my Mom said my Dad got her to go out with him while she was working at a waitress,” murmured Seung-gil. He took a bite of Phichit’s food. Phichit looked on with fondness and annoyance. Viktor gestured for him to go on.

 

“He’d show up everyday to that restaurant to ask her out.”

 

“Persistence,” Yuuri interjected. “That’s three.” Viktor scribbled again, with a bit of discomfort. That was a bit too “nice guy” for his liking.

  

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence



 

Chris took a sip from his pina colada. He giggled softly before looking confused.

 

“Didn’t you and Yuuri use to date?” The rest of the table turned to look at the two in question. Suddenly they’ve found themselves in the hot seat. Yuuri fiddled with his glasses, looking down and suddenly deciding his drink looks more interesting. Viktor shot Chris a glare.

 

_[The scene changes to a college frat party. There are drinks flowing, in and out of cups, on the floor. The bass is pumping, the air is fraught with heat, sweat, pheromones, cologne, sex. A younger Viktor has a cup of a questionable brew in his hand, his other hand tangled in someone’s hair, his lips are pressed against theirs with lust, longing. There are flashes of someone’s clothes flying off in the middle of a circle of people cheering, hooting and egging someone on. Glimpses of a silver pole. Viktor remembers seeing Yuuri, his cheeks flushed, his eyes glazed, a goofy grin plastered on his face.]_

 

Present day Yuuri looked up from his drink, his face a mask of distant regal calm.

“Nah, we didn’t. But let’s not get into that.” He remarked shortly.

 

“Yeah. College.” Viktor offered weakly

 

Simultaneously, the two took slightly larger sips of their respective drinks while pointedly avoiding eye contact, Yuuri (water) and Viktor (whiskey). Whether this was coincidence or not, only the universe knows. The rest of the table looked on with pity (Phichit) or with a knowing sadness (Seung-gil) or with a hint of smug righteousness (Chris).

Phichit broke the silence. “Seung-gil and I met at Kerbey in college.” He takes a sip of his drink. “I was a waiter with slightly better bod before I discovered the mint chocolate pancakes, he was a busboy with a daily compliment.”

“Work.” Seung-gil interjected with a blush. Viktor jotted it down with a smile.

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence
  4. Work



 

“So then we took breaks together,” Phichit continued. He paused to let Seung-gil wipe a bit of food from the corner of his mouth. “Took him a while to ask me out, he didn’t for a while. So then I asked him to go see Fast and Furious 6.” Seung-gil nodded with solemn agreement.

 

“Love that franchise.”

 

“I know you do.”

 

A waiter came up to the table. “More drinks?” he asked. The table affirmed no, but Chris piped up with an enthusiastic statement of “Shots!” He earned more “Nos.”

 

_[Scene change to the group simultaneously taking shots, Phichit with a grimace, Seung-gil, a slight snarl, Chris, unable to take it without a reaction, Yuuri, taking it well except for a slight hiss at the end, and Viktor, jaded and a champ.]_

 

“So bear with me,” Chris began before giggling slightly. “Cheating turned real.” Yuuri looked at him with slight disdain.

 

“No, dude what the fuck? We don’t live in some kinda romcom.” Yuuri groaned. Viktor nodded, though he wrote it down a bit reluctantly.

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence
  4. Work
  5. Cheating turned real



 

“I don’t think you can really trust each other afterwards?” questioned Seung-gil.

 

“Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, dude,” retorted Chris.

 

“They’re divorced.”

 

“Haha, yeah, you’re right.”

 

Phichit and Yuuri shook their heads.

 

“Yeah I don’t think-”

 

“No. Just no.”

 

“Fine,” Viktor butted in. “Cheating turned real. What’s next?”

Yuuri looked off into the distance. “I know some people who were placed in an arranged marriage.” The table raised a collective eyebrow.

 

“Is that love though?” pondered Phichit. Viktor nodded, but wrote it down.

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence
  4. Work
  5. Cheating turned real
  6. Arranged Marriage



 

“I think that’s Stockholm,” replied Yuuri. “Though the guy was nice.”

 

“Well, Arranged Marriage is 6,” said Viktor out loud. He wrote down another statement, jokingly. “Stockholm Syndrome is 7.”

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence
  4. Work
  5. Cheating turned real
  6. Arranged Marriage
  7. Stockholm Syndrome



 

The alcohol set in (or was it cynicism?). Viktor joked, “So I need to find a captive and make them love me.”

 

“It worked in Beauty and Beast.” said Phichit. He chuckled a bit too long, the liquor has pleasantly pickled everyone a bit. Seung-gil had a bit of an epiphany.

 

“Dear God she fell in love with her captor.”

 

Chris picks up Yuuri’s water glass and played with it, idly rolling it around. “I was seeing this one guy once, it was casual and purely physical.” He paused.

“Anyways, after some...fun, he said she loved me. And well, I didn’t really want to hookup with anyone else at the time. Thought I loved him too.” The rest of the table paused somberly, reminiscing on similar situations. Viktor wrote the unspoken phenomenon down with a silent sigh.

 

 Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence
  4. Work
  5. Cheating turned real
  6. Arranged Marriage
  7. Stockholm Syndrome
  8. Friends with Benefits



 

Yuuri broke the silence. “What about love at first sight?”

 

Viktor noted, “Cliched. But definitely a bit fun.” Yuuri winced, but it anyone saw it, it was just the universe. Viktor wrote it down, a touch wistful.

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence
  4. Work
  5. Cheating turned real
  6. Arranged Marriage
  7. Stockholm Syndrome
  8. Friends with Benefits
  9. Love at First Sight



 

At this point, things got more rapid fire. “High School Sweethearts.” stated Seung-gil. Viktor scrawled it down.

 

Yuuri remarked with a slight glint in his eyes. “You could get set up by friends.” Viktor raised an eyebrow at the acknowledgment of the group’s favorite past time.

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence
  4. Work
  5. Cheating turned real
  6. Arranged Marriage
  7. Stockholm Syndrome
  8. Friends with Benefits
  9. Love at First Sight
  10. High School Sweethearts.
  11. Set Up By Friends



 

“Thanks everyone, by the way for all those setups you keep volunteering.” Viktor remarked flatly. Chris looked up from his thoughts, indignant.

 

“Dude, you told my friend she was ugly.”

 

“I didn’t say Isabella was ugly,” Viktor sputtered. “I just noted her...interesting taste in fashion and makeup.”

 

Chris scoffed, but moved on. “What about like Reality TV?” Phichit nodded in agreement, Yuuri smirked and Seung-gil looked contemplative. Viktor rolled his eyes, but noted it.

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence
  4. Work
  5. Cheating turned real
  6. Arranged Marriage
  7. Stockholm Syndrome
  8. Friends with Benefits
  9. Love at First Sight
  10. High School Sweethearts
  11. Set Up By Friends
  12. Reality TV



 

“What about Shared Pain?” piped up Seung-gil.

 

“Pain?” asked Viktor. He hoped Seung-gil wasn’t referring to BDSM and all that stuff. Not really what he was looking for right now. ( _Right_ now) The group stopped to think.

 

“Shit man, that’s dark.” replied Phichit. The table nodded.

 

“I’ll allow it,” sighed Viktor. He wasn’t so sure but at this point he was desperate. “Grief is 13.” he declared.

 

Ways to Fall in Love

  1. Chance Encounters
  2. Online Dating
  3. Persistence
  4. Work
  5. Cheating turned real
  6. Arranged Marriage
  7. Stockholm Syndrome
  8. Friends with Benefits
  9. Love at First Sight
  10. High School Sweethearts
  11. Set Up By Friends
  12. Reality TV
  13. Grief



 

“That’s it right?” said Phichit.

 

“Is there anything else?” questioned Viktor. Minako then decided to walk up to the group before Viktor could say anything more.

 

“I don’t want to be too blunt, but wrap this shit up guys. We’ve already closed.” The group hastily realized their faux pas and hastily grabbed their things while tossing a few extra dollars as a tip and an apology.

 

“Now what?” drawled Yuuri. The liquor had already set in and he was a bit more placid.

 

“Now what what?” joked Viktor. Yuuri lazily rolled his eyes.

 

“You know all 13 ways to fall in love. What now?”

 

“Now I do the scientific method and try them out.”

 

Yuuri chuckled. “But the scientific method involves a lot of trial and error. What if none of them work?”

 

Viktor sighed. That was always a possibility. He smiled slowly, a glimmer of mirth in his eyes. “Well then, wanna get married for convenience? The tax benefits are nice.”

 

Yuuri snorted and smirked. He turns away briefly to hide the flush creeping up on his cheeks.

 

(It’s gotta be the liquor)

“Fuck off Viktor.” he murmured, The two broke out into laughter and soft smiles.

And when he wasn’t looking, Viktor  gazed at Yuuri, taking in his soft features, the way his glasses framed his face. And well, Yuuri took in Viktor when he stopped to laugh at Phichit falling over Seung-gil, the way Viktor’s  eyes crinkled when he laughed, his voice several tones squeakier because of how late it was.

 

Nothing against looking.

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at bisexualkatsukiyuuuri. Shoot me a message. Or just shoot me.


End file.
